It can be difficult to enjoy where you are in life. Especially in these uncertain times when you may be experiencing hardships, job loss, and financial setbacks. When we are in these tough moments, we often peer through the windows of other people’s lives and make comparisons to our own. But how do we get past this self-destructive pattern and enjoy our personal journeys each step of the way?

Take Inventory Of All You’ve Overcome

One of my favorite things to do when I begin spiraling into sadness about my current situation is to remind myself of all I’ve overcome. As the saying goes, “Remember the days you prayed for what you have now.” And there are truly days that I prayed for God to bless me with children, a loving husband, and a career in law. Circumstances may not be exactly what I want them to be, but they are exactly what I need.

At one point in life, I was so broken and in despair that I had given up on my dreams, given up on love, and ultimately given up on myself. I was depressed and had experienced major financial setbacks after ending an abusive relationship. I thought there was no way out and that my troubles were larger than life. But after sulking, crying, and lamenting I took the first step to changing my life for the better. I made the choice to be grateful for making it out of a horrific situation. You see the financial problems weren’t great, but being alive, healthy, and safe was. I could always make the money back but had I stayed there’s no telling where I would have ended up.

Your life may not be the picture of perfection you desire it to be. But remind yourself of the days you hoped to be where you are now. By doing so you’ll be more appreciative of where you presently are in life.

Live In The Present

There’s is no amount of worrying that can change the future. If you want to enjoy where you are in life, you have to remain present. When you awake in the morning, stop and journal a note of gratitude, pray, and/or meditate. This will allow you to slow down and take time to practice mindfulness. We often rush through life and we jump from task to task on our to-do lists and then rinse and repeat day after day. Our days become endless lists of duties and goals to be checked off and replaced by more.

There is no contentment in this cyclical scheme. It will leave you feeling empty, purposeless, and unfulfilled. You will have to deliberately reject the idea of the never-ending hustle, in favor of whole woman wellness. The way we are encouraged to operate in America does not have to be the standard. Believe it or not, there are 20 and 30 somethings enjoying their balanced lives with jobs, and families, in other countries. You do not have to accept the version of your life that was imagined for you by others. Be mindful of your wants and needs and control your own destiny.

Operate in Gratitude

Finally, operate in gratitude to train your mind to focus on what is positive in your life. If every morning you list all of the things you are grateful for, the things that you do not have become irrelevant. The beauty of this practice is that it encourages mindfulness and presence because you are compelled to look at what is going right. When we have difficulty enjoying where we presently are, it’s often because we harp on what is going wrong. By flipping it into a gratitude practice our mindsets will begin to shift and we’ll invite more positivity into our world.

Learning to enjoy where you are in life is not something that happens overnight. And I am fully aware of how difficult situations may occur and make it challenging to focus on the positive. But if you implement even one of these steps, I am certain you will see and feel a difference in your frame of mind. All it takes is one step to propel you forward to the whole woman you desire to be. And when you get there, one day you’ll look back and be ever so grateful that you took the first step.

Peace and blessings.


Crystal Humphries lives in Phoenix, Arizona with her husband and two boys. She began her professional career as an attorney in 2013, after switching paths from her previous career in county government. In 2019, after she was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression and Anxiety, Crystal was inspired to launch to encourage other black women to achieve whole woman wellness. Crystal created Sauced and Lost as a way to document her motherhood, womanhood, and mental wellness journey and ignite a desire for self-actualization and emotional wellbeing in others.